New Light is Kinda Dark

I feel like a spectator, watching my own life. I'm in my head and my body is doing something else. I feel like I'm moving in slow motion and I can't quite see where I'm going. I'm letting go of the past, so I don't know what I'm walking on as I head for the future. And I don't have anyone's hand to hold anymore. The words on the page are blurring; there are no more directions. I know it's not me against the world, but it feels that way. I don't know what I've still got.

Today I released something I really wanted. I wanted a relationship where I felt like I wasn't afraid of losing the other person, and I got that. And today I let it go. I had to keep telling myself I wasn't the bad guy. I was being honest instead of dragging it out. Even now I'm still trying to convince myself though. But at least I didn't stay in that relationship to boost my ego while turning into someone I didn't want to be - someone unfaithful and untrustworthy. I hurt someone I love, but we are still friends, and things will get better, and I, for once, did what should be done instead of what I wanted to do. 

Now I'm just not sure wher to go from here. I don't know what this place is. Wherever I am, it's a new place, and no one else is here.