Brain Explosions (Are Awesome)

It's Saturday. I've been up since 8:30 even though I went to bed last night at around 3:45. My body only likes to sleep late on days when it doesn't have time.

I'm back in the swing of things now; we had a regular full week of classes this week, with studio Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, and my Modern US Drama and Intro to Gender and Sexuality studies classes on Tuesday and Thursday. It's a full schedule, but I'm managing to find moments to sit and be centered so that I don't lose my mind. The way the NYU bus schedules work out, I frequently get wherever I need to be about a half an hour before class starts so I have time to just sit and think, or not, for a while before I ask so much of my body and brain for the next several hours. Frequently I leave my building around 8 in the morning and don't get back until more than 12 hours later, which is a shame since I have such lovely roommates in this beautiful room, but I'm still very happy with my days.

My studio teachers are remarkably intelligent and ridiculously intense. They're all incredibly dedicated to the education of all of the PHTS students, but of course, I haven't met a teacher at PHTS who isn't. It's great to continue to get to know more faculty, to say hello to first year teachers in the halls, and recognize more and more faces as I get to know both more upperclassmen and the first years. Sometimes thinking about the sheer number of talented people crammed into two floors of 44o Lafayette street gives me the chills. I also had this overwhelming moment the other night when I was walking home, probably from Tisch, and looking around realized how people live absolutely everywhere in Manhattan. There's apartments on top of practically every store, restaurant, etc. in the whole city. I started thinking about how many people are in such a small space, and thought about it for too long so it started to blow my mind.

Lots of things lately have been mind-exploding moments. Despite what we had been led to believe at the end of last semester, PHTS put the second years into new groups for first semester of this year (go group B), and the people I'm working with, all but one of whom were not in my group last year, are all very smart and creative. Many work in ways different from my own and I know I have a lot to learn from them all, and I'm excited for that opportunity this year. We all get to keep pushing each other in new ways, and this year it starts immediately, because we've already had the preface of first year.

I'm continuing to discover differences between first and second year, though they seem quite similar on the outside. Our list of classes looks quite like that of first year, but with II instead of I after the title. Yet the approach to those classes is remarkably different, in a really interesting way. Much of first year is spent developing this working language of the studio, where we have certain ways of interacting with one another and approaching our work. Eventually, we start to develop a shorthand with our collaborators, sharing the common experience of teachers and methods within our studio. This year, with that all already established, we can move right into the work, and that's incredibly exciting. I'm so refreshed by the sheer volume of creative stimulation I've been getting over the past week. It feels so good to be back in conversation with so many people who understand things in a way similar to me, and can at least understand the way I articulate myself, even if that means I say I'm feeling orange and sticky. (Which I'm not. Right now I feel more like bright green and smooth.)

Earlier this week, I was at auditions for Colleen's show, Tongues, which I'm stage managing (I hope I've mentioned that a million times before, but I feel like I haven't said it enough). The first night I just ran the table (and seven people showed up in the span of two hours), which was kind of dull, but the second night, I spent nearly three hours behind (or adjacent to) the table in the audition room, watching about thirty people audition, seeing some really interesting choices and some really dull ones, some very bold but bad (or bold and good) choices, etc. Colleen and I obsessed over how to pronounce the word jewelry. (It's joo-el-ry. If you want to see the IPA, let me know. It can happen.) The whole experience was educational both from the perspective of learning how an audition is run, learning what I look for in an audition (and therefore thinking about how I should focus my auditions), learning what makes things more or less interesting, the list goes on. This week we'll be having callbacks, and then we'll be cast, and then things will really begin! This may be Colleen's show, but I think I'm probably almost as excited as she is.

I went to a dance call for a PHTS dance-based piece earlier this week, and it was so wonderful to be really dancing again, even if only for a little bit. I miss dance classes so much, and that is one thing I'm a little bummed about at studio this year; they took away the dance option for first semester. (Instead we are all required to take form and content contact improv, which I can tell will be amazing, and I'm looking forward to all it has to offer me, but it's not a replacement for dancing.) Last night I went to open calls for PHTS shows, and hopefully soon I will be cast in something, can then schedule my other design project (we're required to assistant design on two shows this semester, and I'm already lighting designing one production), and have some semblance of timeline and order to my life. (It's a crazy dream for second year, I know.)

Earlier this week (Monday, which feels like an eon ago), I met with Jude, from First U Brooklyn, Ryan, the chair of the MNY district steering committee, and a couple friends to try to figure out how to get campus ministry up and running and I'm feeling very good about that progress. Also, Brianna and I are going to be teaching pre-k religious education this year, which is really exciting, because I always miss hanging out with little kids when I'm in the city. And hanging out with little kids + being at UU church + getting paid enough to be able to afford going to church every week (with some left over), is a win win win.

I'm very impressed with how well my life is going right now. And also impressed that I'm not really invested in finding a "relationship" at the moment, though the hot Australian who lives somewhere in this building and is friends with my roommate would be quite alright with me.

I must keep working. I am focused, I'm dedicated to my work, I'm keeping moving. Things continue to progress. It's all very exciting. Meredith and Nat are in town. We're having a picnic in Central park today. Yay. Off to adventures.

Oh. And last Friday I soundpainted. It's basically the coolest thing I've ever done at studio.

Back by Popular Demand

I'm back in New York! Classes start on Tuesday! It's been really amazing to see people that I love and connect with so much, in ways I can't really explain.

Yesterday I spent 8 hours talking to Colleen. Like it was ridiculous how fast time flew by. It was so great to finally get to talk in person again about studio, and religion and spirituality, and our summer journeys, and our plans for working together during the year, and Harry Potter, and Sweeney Todd, and IPA and dialects, and the millions of other interests we share. Colleen is probably the epitome of what I love about being at PHTS - people I can talk with about art in a language I understand, who constantly expand my mind and help me to figure things out, ask new questions, stretch myself, and keep working. PHTS and its people rarely fail to inspire me.

I've spent much of the last few days wandering the streets, reacquainting myself with the streets I'm thrilled to call home. The Gramercy area doesn't feel like my neighborhood yet. I still feel much more at home walking around Union Square and southwards, but I'm getting used to it up here. It's quieter, which I'm not sure I like, but which I am sure can be a good thing for me this year. I need to remember to remain centered, focused, disciplined.

I realized as I was talking with Colleen that part of why I worked so much harder on my directing project than my acting presentation was because with my directing scene, I was accountable to other people. I needed to be prepared for my rehearsal with my actors so I could articulate what I wanted, and have what they needed to move through the rehearsal successfully. I didn't push myself to the same standards when working with myself. So a goal for this year is to be more responsible to myself and not let myself off the hook when working alone. (I also plan to - and I expect will be forced to - work with others as much as possible, because my evaluations from my faculty last year across the board said collaboration will be a big deal for me.)

Wednesday, the first day of studio, cannot come soon enough. I'm desperate for classes. We don't get our schedules until registration, Tuesday night. It's insanely nerve-wracking. I've begun hearing about changes to second year, and I'm anxious to see how things work out, and to meet my new teachers, as well as reconnect with my old ones. I'm also looking forward to watching the process of the freshmen and reflecting again on my experiences last year while acquiring new knowledge and skills this year.

Aside from wishing it were Tuesday so I could be at my Modern US Drama class with Bob (!!!), things are really great. My roommates, Cassandra and Afaaf (happy birthday!), and I get along really well. They made French toast this morning for Afaaf's birthday, and it was delicious. Our apartment is all organized, and we're pretty settled in. I'll post pictures of the room soon. It's beautiful. I'm meeting people on the floor, which is already a big change from this time last year (that's kind of backwards, I know). Tomorrow we're having a floor potluck, and I'm interested to see how I do at being social with a bunch of strangers. I used to be really good at it, but I got much more introverted during high school. I think to an extent that's been changing in the last year, but I know I'm still frequently really stuck in my head a lot. I think a lot more than I speak, when I'm being serious.

Feeling the breath and energy of the city though has been a great inspiration to keep stretching my physical and metaphorical muscles. It feels good to be moving on my feet again and to be constantly surrounded by people, yet still be able to create my own personal space. Being in this city just always feels right. And having the gift of knowing that I will be here day after day for years is something I wouldn't give up for anything. I realized last night, too, that there are so many ridiculous circumstances that may exist in one's life as a result of living in this city. Those circumstances are absurd and unbelievable and amazing and ridiculous, and absolutely perfect. Life is silly and beautiful and I love it.

Slowly but surely I've been reconnecting with my friends here; Amy and Brianna of Blue have both stopped by, and I've spent time with Brandi on a few occasions, and of course much time has been spent with Christoph over the last three days. It's such a blessing to be among theatre people who are all curious and want to explore in a way similar to me. Of course, I could say the same thing about my UU friends. (Nat and Meredith are coming to visit in less than two weeks! Yay!)

It's been a little weird being away from my family after being with them so much this summer. Especially since my mom were together constantly for about a week when we drove out here, then to Ocean City, and went and saw several shows. (Quick notes: go see Rock of Ages to have a ridiculously good time, 9 to 5 closed today, which is kind of sad, because it was fun to see Allison Janney, Mary Poppins is fun, if 45 minutes too long and a little terrifying sometimes, and Chicago is awful and to be avoided at all costs, including free tickets.) It was fun to explore my new neighborhood with my mom though in this last week. She's starting to get to know her way around New York City pretty well (which I'm not sure she's glad about, but she loves me!).

I think that's about all for now. I'm pretty sure I finished my last summer assignment tonight, for Michael Krass of course. Look for an "Oh my god I'm back at studio!" post in a few days. :)