Blessed Be

This post might have a lot or nothing to do with God. (Slash the universe/creator/destiny/etc.)

I've been reading my friend Colleen's blog a lot lately (I almost said religiously, but that would have turned into a really bad pun). She's spending the summer working A/V crew at a religious (Presbyterian) retreat in North Carolina, and I've been fascinated by her updates about her spiritual musings and journey and so on, which of course got me thinking about my own.

In case somehow you're reading this and you didn't know, I'm a Unitarian Universalist. UUism came from the merge of Unitarianism (an outgrowth of transcendentalism and the belief in one God rather than the holy trinity) and Universalism (an older faith that is sort of what it sounds like in preaching what were then considered "universal" principles of religion). UUs are the more liberal cousins of the United Church of Christ (UCC), the Methodists. I have an uncle who is a UCC minister, and from what I have gleaned from his sermons, Methodists are like UUs who specifically call that force of the universe "God", rather than calling it the "Universe" or the "Bigger Forces" or something like that.

But anyway, my point is that Unitarian Universalists (and I've been one all my life) have many names for a generally-understood concept (notice I said "understood" not "believed). Yet in comparing my experiences of "worship" or that creator/universe/god with those of my aforementioned friend Colleen, I realized that when I attend "worship" services and have a general idea of what I want to worship (though I don't define that entity as "God" specifically), I'm not sure that the church services I attend are "worship." I find them spiritual, yes, and energizing and uplifting in most cases (at least when they are successful services), but I'm not sure they are necessarily worshipful of that which I revere.

So then I was thinking about what I would consider worshipful behavior, or what would make for a successful worship service, not just an hour sitting in a church singing and listening to a theological lecture (which, while stimulating and usually engaging, is rarely worshipful). I think the conclusion I have come to is that the services I go to in general are interesting and intellectual, but not worshipful. So much of the UU community is composed of adults who have found this faith away from the religion in which they grew up and find freedom in the principles that allow each person his or her own search for an individual truth. This faith has many great liberties, teachings, and values and is invaluable to me, but like all religions, it is not infallible. It does not have (nor does it pretend to) have all the answers, and instead says, "Go, and seek the answers for yourself," which I appreciate as an independent and curious person, but which I find hard to understand on a religious "This is how I explain my faith" sort of level. UUism doesn't make it easy to explain things, even when you think you know the answer, and I both love and hate that.

That paragraph got slightly tangential. Returning to my thoughts on methods of worship, I think on my personal level, worship comes from two places, each equally powerful. On some occasions I create my individual worship, which I experience and enact on my own terms in any place I choose (a church is a good one, but not necessarily more spiritual for me than a silent theatre or, occasionally, a walk through NYC). On (unfortunately) rare occasions, I happily find myself among other UU young adults in a circle worship with moments for a silent meditation that is at once solitary and unifying in the silence. I find meditation very worshipful, because it allows me to reflect upon that which I believes deserves worship, the most fundamental elements of existence and the universe that in their simplicity create all the complexities of the world.

I appreciate the chalice (I have three in my room, one made by me, one a bridging gift made by Victoria, and one a college gift from Meredith) for its simple flame that signifies so much in our faith, and for its little spark that I can contemplate endlessly. When I get my chalice tattoo (soon, I hope), it will be a symbol of my lifelong faith, my journey that continually changes like a burning flame, but like the ink flame on my skin, will never die. The chalice reminds me to slow down and contemplate, to truly appreciate the beauty of this earth, this life, this existence in this space that is ever-minutely changing, thanks to the creatures in it, and the universal spirit that created it.

Words and labels are only that. Spirituality is deeper. It is vibrant in its intangibility and disguised in many names and faces. Colleen grew up Christian (with experience in many denominations). She worships God, believes the stories of the Bible. I grew up Unitarian Universalist, the daughter of a Methodist mother and a Jewish father. I learned a whole lot of traditions involving God, but I worship the universe as creator. Still, when I read Colleen's thoughts about God and her relationship to Him and His teachings in her life, I find myself agreeing with a lot of what she says. And I find that's where there's a difference - religion puts labels on everything so we can understand where we fit in with others in the world. But spirituality transcends that to something more universal beyond names to truths in many forms that connect us all. And I think that matters more that semantics.