[I Need] 16670 [Hours of Sleep]

It's essentially Friday, but my desk calendar still thinks it's Tuesday. I've literally been too busy to tear off the pages that mark the passing of days. I don't see the minutes slipping through my fingers, but suddenly entire months have passed. Where did September and October go? Hell, we're halfway through November. There's only like four weeks left in first semester. Early decision kids (of the class of 2014, wtf) have already started auditioning for the drama program. Why is time passing so quickly? I feel like I'm drinking in every moment and yet days, weeks, months, are just blocks of time that have disappeared from my future into something I call my past.

I am physically, mentally, emotionally exhausted. I have never worked this hard this constantly in my life. I have never been this committed to my work and at the same time felt like I am not giving anything as much attention as I want to. This whole semester is in fact an exercise in continuously attempting the impossible. It's thrilling, in the rare moments when I'm actually awake and conscious and my brain is functioning properly.

Saturday night will finally end three straight weeks of tech with the closing of 16670. I have lighting/sound designed in three different spaces, assisted/been assisted by three different people, worked for three different directors with a total cast of 14 people, and countless hours spent in booths or atop a ladder or in near-darkness. I haven't slept nearly enough. Even on the few nights when I have gotten 7 0r 8 hours of sleep, it is not enough to make up for the days I have. I'm doing incredibly intense emotional investment in a scene I'm acting in for directing class, and that takes so much energy that I feel like I've been running all day after I work on it. But there is much else to do.

I'm auditioning on Monday and Tuesday for a Tisch "mainstage" (they don't call it that anymore - now it's "Stage works" because we don't really have a main stage...). It's Fuente Ovejuna by Lope de Vega, and a company from Chile is coming in to work on it. I think it would be an incredible opportunity to work with interesting people, and to perhaps get to use some Spanish again, and of course to perform in something lots of people would see. Then the week after I'm auditioning with Amy for Tisch Twisted, a benefit for BC/EFA where girls sing guy songs and vice versa from the music theatre canon. I'm excited. We're auditioning with What You Own, which is one of the numbers in the show, and it's my favorite song in RENT. Hopefully it will work out.

My brain is now going to rest for hopefully 8 hours before it has to prepare for directing rehearsal, run directing rehearsal, spend two hours in form and content contact improv, work on a design project, do voice and speech work, see some shows, go to rehearsal... etc. And that's just Friday. Thinking about it makes my brain hurt more right now. Goodnight.