Transcending

I started writing a poem today in my head and thinking about all the love poems and poems about love that I've written over the years to and about various people. For a moment, I felt bad that some of the poems I have written could apply to more than the person for whom they were originally intended. But then a thought that I think I have known for a while is true but which had never articulated itself in this way came to me: Love transcends people.

Once when Joel and I were having an argument and I was explaining to him how love and our relationship were so important to me. He asked me if our relationship was not about him, and I explained that it was about him, that it was through him that I had learned and was continuing to learn so much about love, relationships, and sharing that with the world. I told him it was about him and it was bigger than him, because - and this part I'm adding now - love is bigger than people, it's God's work through people. I'm still not sure he understands what I believe that to mean. Love is a gift; it's the greatest gift we are given. It's what makes people matter and thus life worth living.

Thankfully, I am filled with more love than ever before in my life, for more and more people, regardless of their feelings in return. I'm watching that love manifest itself in many different ways, ways I never knew it could. It's beautiful and I'm grateful for it every day.

I'm watching Julie and Julia and thinking about loving things like cooking. Julia gave a lot of people - Americans, mostly, I suppose - the gift of French food, because she loved it, as many people love food. Actually, I discovered last summer that when I have the time, I actually love cooking. But most of my friends and I love theatre. And our acts of creation are acts of love, the magic that happens when a group of people commits to making something that didn't exist before, because they love it and (hopefully) believe in each other and want to give their gift to others.

I miss my friends and I miss New York, but I feel so damn lucky to live the life I live and to be learning what I'm learning. I'm grateful that I can enjoy washing the kitchen floor of all things. I'm grateful that even though my best friend is far away and will be going farther, she and I keep in constant contact and teach each other new things every day. I'm grateful that I can love but give myself space when I need it. And if you're reading this, know that I love you.