Seems Like I Should Write A Song

I will have been single for four weeks as of tomorrow, and it doesn't feel like it at all. I have been heartbroken, sure, painfully so, extremely so, but I think I will feel the same way for a while being at Playwrights without Colleen. I am starting to think feeling single is equivalent to feeling like one is without love. For while I am not in a relationship as society would define it, I am full of love, for many people, and I have no interest in being in finding a new relationship. This is a curious new experience for me. The last four weeks have been some of the most educational of my life. I feel like it's been a speed-through of years. This is definitely one of those times when it feels like this just happened yesterday and years ago, and maybe I've been reliving the same day for the last four weeks.

Joel and I are having a face to face talk soon for the first time since the day after we broke up. I hope that it goes well and that we manage to resolve whatever is making this situation feel unresolved. I hope we can become good friends again. Whether or not I am in love with him anymore, I love him so much and I cannot simply push him out of my life. This is too important for that.